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Tuesday, July 31, 2007

My Lame Day

Imagine this...

7am - Wake up, get dressed, feed kids
7:30am - Take car in to get checked before my road trip on Thursday
8am - Get back home (amazed that it only took 1/2 hour), say family prayers, and see Jason off to work.
8:30am - Get dressed, get kids dressed, head to the gym to workout.
9:30am - Back home, get ready for the day.
10am - Check email and do work while kids watch one show and then play.
11:30am - Lunch
12pm - Justis naps, Nia has Quiet time, and I work.
2pm - Justis wakes up, have snacks, play time.
4pm - clean up, get dinner going.
6pm - dinner
6:30pm - clean up dinner, play with kids
7:15pm - get kids ready for bed.

That was what I had planned for my day. Instead, this is how my day actually went...

7am - Wake up, get dressed, feed kids
7:30am - Take car in to get checked before my road trip on Thursday
8am - Get back home (truly am amazed it only took 1/2 hour), say family prayers, and see Jason off to work.
8:30am - Get dressed, get kids dressed, see my book lying on my nightstand.
8:35am - Book is calling my name. Kids are playing. Ok, I'll just read one chapter.
9am - Put one show on for kids. Read only until show is over. Then must do work.
9:30am - Show is over. Still reading. Nia - "Mom, you said we could Pegasus today." Me - (thinking - if I put Pegasus on for them, I can work while I watch with them - good quality time, right?) "Ok. But then it will be time to turn it off."
10am - Stop reading, really MUST start work. Starting work.
10:15am - Conversation w/ project manager - project not so rushed now. Have several extra days. That means I can read, right?
10:17am - Get fruit snacks for kids and head to room to read.
11:20am - Nia: "Mom, the show's over. I turned off the TV. Can we have lunch now?" Me: "It's not quite time yet, why don't you play blocks with Justis." Justis: "Basketball shoot, Nia." Kids go to Justis' room.
11:30am - Nia: "Mom, I want lunch now. I'm hungry." Ok, lunch is made. Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhiches for the kids, of which Mac ate one of Nia's quarters because she mistakenly got up from the table to get water for her and Justis.
12pm - Justis nap, Nia quite time. Andi: Work or Read? My stomach is not feeling very well. Guess I'll read.
1:20pm - Mom knocks on door causing Mac to bark causing Justis to wake up prematurely. Mom comes in (here to watch the kids while I go to get the car). My stomach is still not feeling well so I continue to lay down... and read. Kids and Mom make cookies.
1:40pm - Finally get a hold of another client and talk for 10 minutes.
1:50pm - Shuttle van for auto repair place is here. Go (with my book - just in case) to get car.
2:30pm - Back home. Eat about 8 cookies (they were small), and read.
4pm - Nia: "Mom, why do you have to work so much so you can't play with us?" Andi: looking for nearest knife to stab self after such an honest but sad thing to hear. "I only have about twelve more pages in my book. How about I read that in your room while you and Justis play?"
4:40pm - finished book (kids were talking to me which is why it took so long to finish - it ended up being about 20 pages).
4:30pm - Fix dinner.
5:15pm - PLAY with kids.
6:30pm - Jason home, eat dinner.
7:00pm - Clean up dinner, play with kids
7:15pm - Kids in bed.


The first one is how I imagined my day would go. The second one is how it actually went. I am ashamed and embarrassed that I spent pretty much my entire day reading. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't had other things to do. But in fact, I had several things for work I could have done, I could have worked on packing, I could have worked out, or any other number of things. Instead, I made some poor choices that ended up costing me some self-respect.

Jason asked me this evening how my day went. I was too embarrassed to tell him. I had already decided I would blog about this so I told him he would have to read my blog.

I need to be better at making a list of things to do and sticking to them. Furthermore, I need to exert some will-power and practice some self mastery when it comes to reading and work. Neither reading or work are more important than my family.

Family first. No more lame days.

:)

Friday, July 27, 2007

I got Tagged!

Yea! I got tagged! This is so exciting. I have to admit something funny about this... as I was starting to type this post and try to figure out how to put those other links in, I asked my husband for help. He asked me what I was trying to do and I told him I got tagged. His response... "You got tagged?" with an expression of surprise and awe. I'm undecided whether he was surprised that I knew what being tagged was or if he was in awe that somebody was actually checking my blog and/or knew me enough to tag me! Could be a mixture. :) I think he was impressed. :)

So here goes...

Last four blogs tagged:
Musings from an LDS writing mom
LDS Writers Blogck (Connie S. Hall)
Ferguson Authors - Danyelle Ferguson
Lifelong Bookworm
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness


What were you doing ten years ago?
I had been married for 1 year (yesterday was my anniversary - 11 years this year) and we had just moved to Provo, Utah, so Jason could start his Junior year at BYU (we transferred from Ricks - back when it was actually called Ricks). I just started a new job at Morinda (now known as Tahitian Noni) which started my career in the Direct Selling/Multi-Level Marketing Industry, following in my dad's footsteps. Because of that start and the things it led to, I have traveled the world (visited every continent except Africa and Antartica), and ultimately led me to my career as a Compensation Plan Specialist. My dad is the foremost expert in the field and he and I are now working together... talk about a blessing.


I am breaking convention and adding a question here...
Ten years ago, what did you expect to be doing today?
Ten years ago, I had expected to have about five of my six kids now, with my oldest around 9 years old. (We have two kids - 4 and 2 years.) I had expected to not be working on anything but to be in motherhood and wifehood bliss, waiting on my family hand and foot. (Now, I have my consulting, along with being a contractor for another related company writing technical documents related to my area of expertise, and am working on a lifelong dream of writing novels. However, I am happy that I was accurate in two things: I live in motherhood and wifehood bliss - most of the time. :))


What were you doing one year ago?
Going on vacation to Idaho and Utah, celebrating my 10th anniversary, editing my first novel (unfortunately, I am still doing that), and not doing quite as much work. Our lives were less busy, however, because since then, Jason has gotten a promotion that has ended up requiring more time. Justis was also a little higher maintenance this time last year because he was only 1 and couldn't play with Nia like he does now.


Five Snacks You Enjoy:
CINNABON :)
Chocolate
Sour Patch Kids
Good and Plenty
Otis Spunkmeyer Cookies
Hmmm... can you tell I have a thing for sugar?


Five Songs you know all the lyrics to:
Holding out for a Hero - from Footloose
What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts
With or Without You - U2
I'm Trying to be like Jesus
Jesus, Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood


Things you would do if you were a Millionaire:
Pay off my House
Have Jason (my husband) retire and do what he really loves - soccer, music, and art only for fun
Travel the World
Serve Missions
Setup a Mission and College Fund for my kids and grandkids
Buy a Machine Quilter
Honestly, I still see myself doing consulting work... I have turned into my father in that aspect, I suppose. I really love the consulting I do. I get to have an impact on millions of people.


Five Bad Habits:
Eating Sugar too much
Not being able to put a book down until I have finished it
Eating out of boredom and not hunger
Beating myself up over things I can't change
Saying "You Know" too much - this was pointed out to me recently and I'm having a hard time stopping myself... you know!


Five things you like to do:
Read
Write Novels
Shop
Consulting Work
Spend time with my family and extended family


Five Things you will never wear again:
Leggings without anything long enough to cover my thighs (this is both a modesty and fashion issue)
Anything that looks frumpy
Pants with a really busy pattern (sorry, Mom)
Honestly, I cannot think of anything else... I consider myself a rather fashionable person and can't think of a time that I look back and wonder what in the world I was thinking... knock on wood.


Five Favorite Toys:
iPod
iBook (laptop)
Makeup
our new Honda Odyssey (new to us)
T3 Tourmaline Straightener - get it on eBay - it is amazing and worth every penny, especially if your hair is difficult to get and keep straight


Where will you be in ten years?
Both kids will be in school. My oldest will be almost fifteen! I will be consulting still and hopefully have published one or more books. I hope to have been to Austria, Africa, and Brazil. We'll have made some serious financial headway and will be looking forward to retirement. I hope to look like I am still 30 too. :)


Five people to tag:

Angel Brockbank
Esther Ogden - call me and I will help you start a blog
Laralei Jensen - ditto to what I told Esther
Michael Jensen - do you have a blog? I'll have to email you
Lora Harrell - I'll help you start one if you want
Melissa Proctor - ditto to what I told Lora

What can I say, all the people I know that blog have already been tagged and most of the people I know, don't blog. But that doesn't mean they can't start. :)


Rules:
The rules are that you’re supposed to remove the blog site at the top of the “Last Four Blogs Tagged” list, move all the blog site names up one, and add yourself to the bottom. Then answer the rest of the questions. Post it to your blog or, if you don’t have a blog, send it back to your friend in an email. Enjoy!


:)

Adventure Anyone?

Since my trip to Hawaii, I have devoured around 20 novels (potentially more) by the same author. Odd? Maybe. Excessive? Very.
Satisfying? Extremely. This recent obsession of mine has had some drawbacks, of which I was well aware (i.e. a handful of times I stayed up until 3 or 4am to finish a book I started that night, knowing full well the kids would be up by 7am). However, that is the price that I paid.

I think a large part of this recent excursion into the unreal world is due to the depression I have been dealing with. However, I have learned something quite important:

I love adventure and romance. I am sucker for romance novels of almost every kind. However, my favorites over the years are the ones that have the best adventure... Kidnapping, running from an arranged marriage only to find a) you really do like the guy after all or b) someone better that helps rescue you from the really horrible fiance, road trips (whether done in the wild west, on the open seas, or through Europe or America.

It's funny that these appeal to me so much because if you think about those things happening today, they would not be so exciting. For example, if I were to be kidnapped, I don't think I would look at it quite like I do at a kidnapping in a book. I think this largely due to time period. The kidnappings I enjoyed in the books I have read have all taken place a couple of centuries ago (i.e. 1700s and 1800s). There is a sort of romantic notion about being kidnapped back then and having someone come after you or being kidnapped by someone who is in love with you but has been forbidden to be with you and this was the only way it could be accomplished.

Regardless, the point of this is that my next novel is going to embrace Adventure in all of its glory. I am itching to write when I haven't had that itch for some time. The fire has ignited. :)

Friday, July 20, 2007

Leading Lady

In the recent movie "The Holiday," a wise older man told Kate Winslet that her problem was that she was not acting as the Leading Lady in her life. I've thought about that recently, partly as a result of the books I have been reading. The "Leading Lady" or "heroine" of each of these stories is someone who takes charge of their life.

I feel like sometimes I play the part of the Leading Lady, and then sometimes I don't. I play a background or supporting character. I would like to always be the Leading Lady but at the same time, maybe my expectations of a leading lady are off. The leading lady of my books are not the leading lady of my life.

So what is the Leading Lady in my context? I think first and foremost, someone who is actively engaged in life. Suffering from depression as I have, which of late has been more of a struggle than it had been over the previous six months, it has been really hard to be engaged/involved. It is a horrible feeling to feel that way.

Secondly, I think being the Leading Lady also means accepting and loving myself, despite my weaknesses.

Thirdly (if that is a word), they set out to do what they need to, to get what they want. I actually think I do a pretty good job at this. Obviously not perfect, but I think I am assertive enough that I am not afraid to speak up.

I want to be a Leading Lady.