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Each night when I put my kids to bed, they each want to snuggle with me. I had an important revelation about this a couple of weeks ago...
Justis likes me to lay down with him and for the most part, we are just quiet. I snuggle him and give him kisses and caress his face. I tell him how he is my favorite buddy and we listen to his music playing. It only takes a minute of that snuggle and then he's ready to go to sleep.
After Justis, I go in to Nia's room. Nia wants to talk. She asks for stories or sometimes will tell me a story. Most of the stories are true - things about my childhood, her younger years, or something going on recently. For a while I was low on patience with her during this process because I was tired and just wanted to quietly hold her, like I do with Justis. After all, it is bed time, not time to talk.
Then, it dawned on me. Justis needs the physical "snuggle" while Nia needs an "intellectual" (or emotional) snuggle. When I realized this, I also realized that Nia and I are very similar in this way. Before I can truly enjoy a physical snuggle, I need an intellectual or emotional snuggle - a connection on a different level. After I have that kind of snuggle then I can enjoy a physical snuggle.
Since this realization, I have had considerably more patience with the process because I feel like I am better able to provide for my children the connection they need. We all want to have a connection but our connections come in different forms. Connections or "Snuggles" are a critical part of a relationship, but recognizing the type of snuggle the recipient needs is key.
What kind of snuggle are you?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
To my Mommy
Dearest Mommy,
You told me I should update my blog so here I am, updating my blog. Yes, I'm doing it while I am on a call. That's simply because I am ALWAYS on a call. One would think that I was born with a phone to my ear.
Your birthday is right around the corner. It's hard to believe that you're going to be 29 again. Wow, you are the same age as your youngest child! Does that mean you start aging with her so as to avoid the papparazi who want to take pictures of the woman who gave birth before her birth? I can see the headlines now (picture it in your mind - get creative!).
Remember that time when I was sick and I asked you to make some jello and you said that if I was well enough to eat jello then I could make it myself and while I'm up I should clean my room? Yup. I remember that too. The good news about this? I have one of those things that family will never forget either. Remember that time I told you that I opened one of my Christmas presents before Christmas because I was dying to know which movie it was? Yup. Me too. And apparently so does everyone else in the family. That appears to be my "jello" story.
For your birthday, I considered giving you the gift of NEVER bringing up that story again but honestly, I just don't know if I can do it so I went to Target instead. hehehe
Actually, the point of this whole blog is this...
Remember when I had cramps really bad and you let me stay home? Remember when I was really upset about not getting into BYU and you didn't say "I told you so" and you let me stay home? Remember that time I forgot my homework and you made an extra trip to school just to drop it off? (that's ok, I don't remember that one either but I'm sure it happened) Remember that time when we were at a Baby shower and I couldn't take it anymore and you stepped outside to cry with me? Remember that time you drove 1.5 hours to my house to hang out with Nia and I and to help me organize? Remember that time that you let us come over to eat at your house because I couldn't think of something interesting to make for dinner? (ok, there's been more than one of those times) Remember that time you went shopping and bought me clothes just because you found something you thought would be cute on me? Remember that time you folded my laundry for me because I had huge piles that had been there for a week? (yes, that was more than once too.) Remember that time you packed me a nice sack lunch for school and wrote a note on the napkin? (nope. I don't remember it either but there's a possibility that happened.) Remember that time that you babysat the kids for me and got strep throat from them? Remember that time you went shopping with me because I didn't really want to drive all the way out to WA Square? Remember that time that you dropped me off at college and didn't cry in front of me so I wouldn't cry when you were saying goodbye? Remember that time you trusted me to... (oops. can't say that one out loud) Remember that time you cried with me when I told you I was finally pregnant after years of trying? Remember that time you cleaned up my house because I was too busy? (oh yeah. That was today... and yesterday... and pretty much every day this week so far... and...) Remember that time you let the kids and I sleep at your house because we didn't want to be alone at ours? Remember that time you let me have all my friends over and eat all your food? Remember that time you got "stuck" at my house when it was snowing for a couple of days? Remember that time you picked up my kids with no notice so I could... go to a movie, stay at the warehouse, have a call, go shopping, or a myriad of other reasons? Remember that time you called and offered to take my kids to school just because you were in the area and thought it would save me some time? Remember that time...
Mom, I remember those times. (Most of them at least.) And do you know what I learned from those? I learned to serve.
I learned to pick up a friend's kids at the drop of a hat. I learned to cry with a sibling or a friend when they were sad. I learned to make jello. I learned to take dinner to a friend a need. I learned to be there for friends and family, day or night, rain or snow (especially snow)... for whatever, whenever.
Mom, you taught me to serve. I think you are one of the best examples of selfless and consistent service I have ever seen. I bet you spend at least 3/4 of your day serving others when frankly, you're at a point now where you could do anything you wanted to with your time.
I love you and thank you for your example. I am who I am today in large measure because of you. You continually amaze me at how much you give of yourself to me, my family, to our family, friends, church, community, and even people you don't know.
Happy Birthday, Mommy. I hope it's one you remember.
Love you,
Me :)
You told me I should update my blog so here I am, updating my blog. Yes, I'm doing it while I am on a call. That's simply because I am ALWAYS on a call. One would think that I was born with a phone to my ear.
Your birthday is right around the corner. It's hard to believe that you're going to be 29 again. Wow, you are the same age as your youngest child! Does that mean you start aging with her so as to avoid the papparazi who want to take pictures of the woman who gave birth before her birth? I can see the headlines now (picture it in your mind - get creative!).
Remember that time when I was sick and I asked you to make some jello and you said that if I was well enough to eat jello then I could make it myself and while I'm up I should clean my room? Yup. I remember that too. The good news about this? I have one of those things that family will never forget either. Remember that time I told you that I opened one of my Christmas presents before Christmas because I was dying to know which movie it was? Yup. Me too. And apparently so does everyone else in the family. That appears to be my "jello" story.
For your birthday, I considered giving you the gift of NEVER bringing up that story again but honestly, I just don't know if I can do it so I went to Target instead. hehehe
Actually, the point of this whole blog is this...
Remember when I had cramps really bad and you let me stay home? Remember when I was really upset about not getting into BYU and you didn't say "I told you so" and you let me stay home? Remember that time I forgot my homework and you made an extra trip to school just to drop it off? (that's ok, I don't remember that one either but I'm sure it happened) Remember that time when we were at a Baby shower and I couldn't take it anymore and you stepped outside to cry with me? Remember that time you drove 1.5 hours to my house to hang out with Nia and I and to help me organize? Remember that time that you let us come over to eat at your house because I couldn't think of something interesting to make for dinner? (ok, there's been more than one of those times) Remember that time you went shopping and bought me clothes just because you found something you thought would be cute on me? Remember that time you folded my laundry for me because I had huge piles that had been there for a week? (yes, that was more than once too.) Remember that time you packed me a nice sack lunch for school and wrote a note on the napkin? (nope. I don't remember it either but there's a possibility that happened.) Remember that time that you babysat the kids for me and got strep throat from them? Remember that time you went shopping with me because I didn't really want to drive all the way out to WA Square? Remember that time that you dropped me off at college and didn't cry in front of me so I wouldn't cry when you were saying goodbye? Remember that time you trusted me to... (oops. can't say that one out loud) Remember that time you cried with me when I told you I was finally pregnant after years of trying? Remember that time you cleaned up my house because I was too busy? (oh yeah. That was today... and yesterday... and pretty much every day this week so far... and...) Remember that time you let the kids and I sleep at your house because we didn't want to be alone at ours? Remember that time you let me have all my friends over and eat all your food? Remember that time you got "stuck" at my house when it was snowing for a couple of days? Remember that time you picked up my kids with no notice so I could... go to a movie, stay at the warehouse, have a call, go shopping, or a myriad of other reasons? Remember that time you called and offered to take my kids to school just because you were in the area and thought it would save me some time? Remember that time...
Mom, I remember those times. (Most of them at least.) And do you know what I learned from those? I learned to serve.
I learned to pick up a friend's kids at the drop of a hat. I learned to cry with a sibling or a friend when they were sad. I learned to make jello. I learned to take dinner to a friend a need. I learned to be there for friends and family, day or night, rain or snow (especially snow)... for whatever, whenever.
Mom, you taught me to serve. I think you are one of the best examples of selfless and consistent service I have ever seen. I bet you spend at least 3/4 of your day serving others when frankly, you're at a point now where you could do anything you wanted to with your time.
I love you and thank you for your example. I am who I am today in large measure because of you. You continually amaze me at how much you give of yourself to me, my family, to our family, friends, church, community, and even people you don't know.
Happy Birthday, Mommy. I hope it's one you remember.
Love you,
Me :)
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