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Dear Mr. Bug/Virus distributor (no, not you computer bugs/viruses - I'm talking about illness),
I don't know how my family's name got on your list, but I would like it removed. Since the end of December, we have received much more than our fair share of bugs and viruses and frankly, I don't think it's funny.
I'm sure someone thought it would be a funny prank to play on us: putting our name on this list. But it's not. Not even a little. Do you know how much money we have spent on Kleenex, Doctor's Visits, Medication, and electricity required to run the TV 24/7 for sick children? Plus, add in the time I haven't been able to work either due to one of my children staying home (because of course they wouldn't both be sick at the same time and therefore believe that I am their playmate), myself being sick, or naps required during the day because of loss of sleep due to one of the aforementioned scenarios. You are costing me a fortune! Not to mention the space in the landfills now filled with my (or my children's) used kleenex. You are definitely not helping global warming or the spotted owl issues.
Sure, a cold now and then is ok, it happens to everyone. But one right after another, interspersed with vomiting flu (and occasionally projectile vomiting) is way past the norm.
I call on you to immediately cease and desist your distribution of bugs and viruses at my home. If you fail to heed my call, I will be forced to take serious action including (but not limited to) flu shots every year hereafter, sole supporter of the Vitamin C industry, and obsessive like behavior in use of Lysol wipes and spray.
Best regards (as in you best regard my warning),
Andi :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
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4 comments:
That was great, however, you failed to mention that Mom got to enjoy some of the blessings of projectile vomiting in the early hours of the morning losing sleep as well, you left at a good time for that one :)Glad you're back on this one, I found your other one harder to follow for some reason, Probably my lack of liking change.
I am so glad you are back to your BLOG!!! That stinks that you've all been so sick, it seem this winter has been a killer for so many! Here's to good health and no more bugs!!!
I laughed so hard I think I peed my pants a little on that one (I know tmi) :)
However, I do feel the need to point out that kleenex is far more biodegradable than Lysol wipes ;)
I know of a service which can iradicate your home of ALL germs and bacteria. We have satelite scanners that work from outer space while you're asleep. Their special scanning process looks for and then destroys germs. It is $2000 to sign up for the service and then $300 a month. We can give you a discount if you sign up some friends since we already will have the satelight in your area. Let us know, we'll sign you up. mom
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