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No, not that change, silly! I'm talking about the change that occurs at or near 30.
I really thought that being 30 wasn't going to be that big of a deal. There are many things that I enjoy - I feel like a "real" adult (whatever that means) and am confident in my knowledge, abilities, etc.
But what I didn't realize was the change my body would go through. Gone is my metabolism, gone is my ability to eat that Cinnabon without immediately adding 2 pounds to my body which takes 2 months to take off.
The most frustrating thing? I am more healthy today than I have been since my 1st year in college. But I am also heavier today (by a long shot) than I have ever been in my life.
I've gone to the doctor seeking help and there is a legitimate health issue I have. However, even resolving that has not stopped some of the "changes" I have been going through.
I have spent a lot of thought, anxiety, and time trying to reverse what is going on. The last time I went to the doctor though, changed my perspective.
It is my doctor that helped me realize that my eating habits are healthier today then ever in my life and I exercise more today than I have since my first year in college. It is rather odd to think that I am quite healthy, despite not feeling like it when I look at my body in the mirror.
So how do I deal with "the change?" I change my perspective.
As I have contemplated this, I was reminded of one of my best friends. She was never a size 4, but I have ALWAYS thought she was one of the most beautiful people I knew. Why? Because she took care of her body and her spirit. Her size has nothing to do with it. She has always dressed in a way that would be flattering to her size and shape, always taken care with her skin, hair, and makeup. But more than that, she is one of the most kind people I have ever known and truly taught me what it meant to be a friend. She is someone I love dearly and I have always respected. She is a beautiful daughter of God, not just on the inside, but also on the outside.
Rather than focusing on numbers (such as those seen on the tags of my clothes and the scale in my bathroom), I am focusing on being healthy. True, I don't look like I did when I got married. I will never be a size 4 again. But I can be beautiful at the size I am. Size and weight are not the determining factors of beauty.
I'd like to hear from you - what makes someone beautiful? I'll tell you what I think in a subsequent post.
:)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
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5 comments:
I think you are more beautiful today, than ever. Eternal youth was never part of the plan. But I wouldn't trade who we are now, for who we were back then. I love our lives.
What is beauty? A sweet spirit? A rockin' bod? Neither hurt. but I think real beauty is confidence, acceptance, and a large dose of sass. Plus a dash of flirtasciousness.
J.
J. cracks me up...and that was very sweet as well.
My definition of beauty? Someone who knows who they are and that God loves them just the way the are. It is someone who knows they have incredible potential even if they are not yet perfect or even great in someone else's eyes. Some of the most beautiful people I know have the best hearts of all and they glow with confident beauty from within. They love others more than themselves and others are drawn to them.
I think my sister, Andrea Dawn, is one of the most beautiful souls on earth.
What a great post, I've been trying to convince myself of many of those same things. Thanks for a lil extra incentive. I'll have to get you a copy of a great article I read on this subject recently :)
That was great Andi! I loved it! Very good perspective.
I have always thought you were beautiful Andi. Even now you STILL are. It is truly what is on the inside that counts and I am willing to bet that you still turn heads. You can ask Jason if you don't believe me!!!
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