Snuggles

Each night when I put my kids to bed, they each want to snuggle with me. I had an important revelation about this a couple of weeks ago...

Justis likes me to lay down with him and for the most part, we are just quiet. I snuggle him and give him kisses and caress his face. I tell him how he is my favorite buddy and we listen to his music playing. It only takes a minute of that snuggle and then he's ready to go to sleep.

After Justis, I go in to Nia's room. Nia wants to talk. She asks for stories or sometimes will tell me a story. Most of the stories are true - things about my childhood, her younger years, or something going on recently. For a while I was low on patience with her during this process because I was tired and just wanted to quietly hold her, like I do with Justis. After all, it is bed time, not time to talk.

Then, it dawned on me. Justis needs the physical "snuggle" while Nia needs an "intellectual" (or emotional) snuggle. When I realized this, I also realized that Nia and I are very similar in this way. Before I can truly enjoy a physical snuggle, I need an intellectual or emotional snuggle - a connection on a different level. After I have that kind of snuggle then I can enjoy a physical snuggle.

Since this realization, I have had considerably more patience with the process because I feel like I am better able to provide for my children the connection they need. We all want to have a connection but our connections come in different forms. Connections or "Snuggles" are a critical part of a relationship, but recognizing the type of snuggle the recipient needs is key.

What kind of snuggle are you?