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I picked up my daughter from the bus stop today and headed straight for home. When we got home, I had the most entertaining conversation with her that went something like this:
Nia: (with all the drama of a five year old girl) Guess what!?! Andrew at school loves me.
Me: (trying to hide my surprise and fear) Really? That's interesting. Did he tell you that?
Nia: No. Ok, here's what happened. I was playing with Cody and Andrew at recess. I'm friends with them. Andrew told Cody that he loves me and told him to tell me so Cody told me that Andrew loves me. (Her eyes get big with excitement. Then she leans in to me and lowers her voice to almost a whisper.) I like him.
Me: (trying to be careful - not wanting to put ideas into her head) What do you mean? As a friend?
Nia: Yeah, and maybe just a little more (holding her thumb and index finger to show just a little). Ok, and here's what else. Mom, HE SAVED ME.
Me: He saved you?
Nia: Yeah, he saved me at recess from these girls that were being mean. They were chasing Cody and Andrew around and he saved me. He hid me from the girls so they wouldn't chase me.
Me: (a bit concerned about a boy hiding my daughter) Where did he hide you?
Nia: In a corner where they play basketball. They didn't see me.
Me: Hmmm... (what else do you say at the first revelation of your child being introduced to the world of "liking" someone?)
Nia: Cody said Andrew was going to marry me.
Me: Hmmm (biting my tongue from saying she should/could only marry him if he was a member of our church because frankly, that's probably a bit unnecessary for this conversation. She knows, we've had that conversation before (and will continue to have it repeatedly), but it just didn't seem the time to bring it up - I'm trying to keep the communication channels open. :))
So over the course of the day, additional information has come out about this whole situation. For example, they let her be in the "middle" of them. Which, after additional explanation from her, means that they let her cut in line in between them and let her sit in the middle of them. The most alarming part of the conversation was when she said that Cody told her they needed to have a "secret kiss" during recess but that they didn't. I did not bite my tongue on that one and reminded her that we do not kiss boys (except for family).
Wow. I have been very cautious about not talking about "liking" boys with her. I was always into boys growing up. I had a boyfriend in kindergarten - his name was Eric Key. I'm not sure why I can remember that but I can. :) I didn't want to give her ideas about it so I have always been very cautious about how I speak about things like that with her. I knew it would only be so long before she was initiated into the process. (I mean come on, she is so stinking cute and sweet!)
I hardly even know what to say. It just makes me laugh and makes me smile, but makes me scared of all to come. I want so much to protect her but I know that part of life is allowing her to have these experiences.
7 comments:
Wow, Homeschool it IS!!!
My, my, my....thank Heaven for little boys! ;)
Wow! Maybe I don't want a girl after all. I would have totally freaked about this conversation! :)
This is the part where I become the mean, over-protective, out-of-touch with the world Dad and lock her in her room until she is 20. Maybe 25.
Andi, I have had very similar situations with my kindergartener, Miriam. There is a boy who is in the 1st grade who keeps trying to hug her IN FRONT OF ME. and she says he chases her at recess and once tried to hold her hand on the bus!! Ans she thinks he is cute!We had to have the talk about not having a boyfriend yet because she was too young and she was to tell him that if he said anything or if her friends did. But that it was ok to have a crush. Maybe we should re-think the crush thing! Anyway, I have been planning on homeschooling for middle school...maybe I will do it sooner!! :)
To add to Jason's comment, I would just lock her in a tower under a spell that only could be broken with her first kiss at 25. That would be best. Don't worry; my advice is always free.
Holy cow! I think you handled that very well. If she learns in kindergarten that she can't tell you about boys because you get all worked up, then you can forget about her saying anything in junior high or high school.
I'm impressed that you kept your cool. That's what I would hope to do, but I would definitely be fighting the temptation to pull him out of school and lock him up (my kindergartener, that is).
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